A Farewell Season

For the last three and a half years I have written this blog (I originally said 'faithfully' written this blog, but hey, even *I* know that's a stretch).  I have shared the good seasons and the bad- I have shared my life, my thoughts and my feelings.  I've shared photos of my children, of my home, of my vacations (and don't forget the photo of my laundry room on one of it's worst days...). 

I have come here during my darkest of times to ask you to pray for my husband and to help me make sense of all that was happening.

I have come here in my most challenging times to share my parenting struggles and to ask for your ideas, your support, and just the general acknowledgement that no, it ISN'T JUST ME OR MY KIDS.

I have come here in my loneliest of times to share my sorrow.  To share my pain.  To ask publicly for forgiveness.

I have come here in my lost times to openly talk about my eyes, about my fears, about the uncertainty about what the future may hold.

And I have come here in times of great joy.  In times of happiness so profound that to capture it in words was almost impossible...

I have come here at times as a PROUD momma- to share my kiddos' accomplishments and to brag to all of you how amazing my kids are and just how much they fill my world.

I have come here at times as a writer- as someone who wanted to grow her craft, to try her hand at a different kind of expression- to convince myself that there was more to me than wife, mother, employee.

I have come here in the most joyous of times to celebrate my marriage, my family... my life.

And you were here.  I have never had a ton of readers- I never set out to be a Nie Nie or a MckMama (for those of you who actually read momma bloggers, you know who these ladies are) and I definitely never became a momma blogger in the true sense of the word, but at the same time there are a number of you who have been faithful readers over the years... who have stopped in here to catch up on the news of the Furedy family, to catch a few photos of my kids, to have a good laugh or a good cry.  For that I can only say thank you, I can only hope that you got some enjoyment from it, and that you in some way understand me better as a result of it.

I have often blogged about seasons- it is a reoccurring theme over time and over the years.

After much thought and prayer, I have made the decision that the time and season for this blog has come to an end.  I am thankful for all that it has taught me, for all that it has brought to my life, for all the lessons I have learned.  I leave blogging as a better person than I began, and to me that is the truest test of whether or not something we have done in life was worthwhile.

I will leave the blog as is for now, as I want to retain the rights to the blog title "Looking From the Sides"- as that is who I am and who I will always be... maybe someday, in some future season, I will return to the blogging world.  But for now.... the season is over.

To every thing there is a season,
 and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

a time to kill, and a time to heal;
 a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
 a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to get, and a time to lose;
 a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to rend, and a time to sew;
 a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, King James Version

Thank you my friends and may God walk with you and bless each and every one of you.
Night all-
C


PS  Comments will be open on the blog for the next few weeks and then the comment option will be closed down.  I will still see many of you on Twitter and Facebook and I look forward to keeping up with you there.  As for my friends in the blogging world, I will keep reading and keep commenting as long as your blogging season continues.

A Little Like Sushi

Life has been a series of ups and downs lately.  More downs than ups for the last few weeks I would say, and all resulting in a great deal of personal reflection, acceptance, and lots and lots of prayer.

I think I've learned a LOT about myself in the last month or so- about my resiliency, my stamina, my strengths, my weaknesses, and my flaws.  Above all else, I have been reminded in many many ways that I am simply human.  Not super-mom.  Not perfect.  Not innocent.  Not impeccable.

And, at the same time, I have been reminded that I am human.  I am loved.  I am cherished.  I am imperfect.  I am well-intentioned.  I am prideful.  I am overbearing.  I am honest.  I am learning (daily, if not every moment).  I am loving.  I am me.

I appreciate more than anything that I have been loved and supported through this entire process.  By kids who don't quite know or understand adult issues, but know that Momma need some extra loves and smiles right now.  By parents who are listening, and listening, and listening as I struggle through my uncertainty and my growing.  By a spouse who has held me tight, who has reminded me who I am, and who has pushed me to be more than who I was before.

And all of this, all that has gone on, has left me a little raw (you know, kinda like sushi?). 

Raw- a little tender to the touch...a little sensitive and a little over aware of all that is happening around me.  I'm seeing gremlins around every corner, in every conversation, in every e-mail.  And I've gotta get away from that.  I've gotta keep healing those wounds, grow some new skin, and take on the world again.

I've gotta get back to me, the person who loves her body enough to not fuel it on gummy bears and diet coke, who knows she really does need 8 hours of sleep everyday to do her best at her life, who calls the doctor to deal with the backache that just keeps growing, who prioritizes her life better.  So watch out world, cause I'm on my way back.  (but be kind, 'cause I'm kinda like sushi still, and I don't think it would take too much to send me back to where I've been).

"To act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
Micah 6:8

I'm gonna get started right now.  I'm closing my bag of gummy bears.  Closing up my e-mail in-box.  Heading to bed.  If I go to sleep right now, I won't get 8 hours, but I'll be close. 
Love you all.
C

Summer- Fabulous with a Side of Suck

So, summer has come and gone.... and there are so many awesome things that we did that I NEVER posted about (despite my best intentions and despite my best efforts).  Sometimes I wonder why I don't post more often, and I think one of the reasons is that I don't want my blog to just be about- "Check it out!  We did this!  We went there!  Aren't my kids amazing?!?  Aren't we having fun?  Isn't life cool?" 

Now, I will admit that I've done my share of posts on this here little blog that summed up to just about that (especially the amazing kid thing... I know, I know, but I think they are really cute!), but at the same time, I pride myself on writing about what is real, what is true... and not just spinning the happy stuff.  'Cause life isn't all pretty and it isn't all happy and sometimes life is really a struggle (and sometimes, just sometimes it is downright stinky). 

On the other hand, sometimes I feel like I share too much- and I'm sure there are folks out there reading saying, "Yep Carrie, you are the major source of TMI in my life!"  (and by the way, if that's you... you can stop reading at any time.... any time!)

So, in an effort to catch you all up...  It's the good, the bad and the ugly all rolled into one post with a few pictures thrown in to help capture the events....

Our summer was an amazing collection of fabulousness combined with just the right amount of suck (I have to stop here and apologize to my mother, who happens to hate it when we say that something sucks.  But, I think even my mom will have to agree that there was a strong suckiness factor that came into play this summer and will forgive me for the use of the word.)

We'll start with fabulous.  We accomplished almost everything that was on our Summer Fun '11 list (if you missed that, read here.) 

Hawaii was a vacation of a lifetime... I will never forget some of the moments from that trip.

 The Oasis was fun as always. 

Hanging out time with my kids was great- they are growing and changing so much and I just enjoy being with them.  Julia found a sense of calm this summer.  I don't know if it was snorkeling with the sea turtles or what, but she seems quieter in her soul.  I am hoping and praying that this peace lasts as we enter the chaos of the school year. 

 Colin, is just Colin.  Super chill.  Checking out life.  If anything, he got more verbal this summer... seriously... if he could tell a story in less than 10 minutes it would be a miracle. But, I know that the silent moments are coming.... so I'm enjoying all the words he has for me now.

Mr. Furedy and I got lots of time to reconnect this summer- and that was amazing as always.

 Nana and Papa were a huge part of our summer and again... memories have been made that will be with us always and forever.

On the other side of the equation (in case you missed it, this is where we transition to the suck factor), we have spent the summer watching Grandma Miriam's (GG to the kids) health decline drastically.  In addition, this means that Joe's mom Paulette has turned most of her life over to caring for her mother.  It's hard to watch Miriam- the lady that we know as being so intelligent, so savvy, so kind- deteriorate as the Alzheimers eats away at her brain.  And... hard to watch Paulette having to take on the parenting role for her mother.  When you care so much about two people.... just painful to watch the process unfold.

  (I love this photo of her and Fern because Miriam, in pink, is laughing...)

And, as many of you know (via my frequent Facebook posts) my dear friend Karen is currently battling breast cancer.  I had no idea before this all began just what a major role Karen has played in my life, and just how hard it is to watch someone you love so much go through something so difficult.  She is amazing.  Positive, upbeat and fighting with all her might.... and I am embarrassed because some days I just want to curl up in a ball and cry about the unfairness of it all.

There's more on the suck side that I can't share here, but I'll give the general categories of family discord and work issues that have weighed heavily on my mind and heart.  Seemed like I couldn't go anywhere or do much without these two issues rising up in my heart and my head and creating concern and a feeling of uneasiness.  And a couple of people- they know who they are (and I know that they are reading this) hurt me badly either through their actions or their inaction or both.  And we'll leave that right there for the time being....

I've prayed more this summer than I have in a very long time, and I've turned a lot of this over to God (or at least I've tried, but that whole surrender thing is a LOT harder that I ever dreamed it would be). 

And now, this season of life has come to an end- and we begin a new season.  I guess that's how life works, you go through seasons (that are just fabulous with a side of suck) and then that season is over.... only to be replaced by the next season.  Who knows what fall will bring?  I know in my heart some of the things that I am wishing for... and I've whispered those things in God's ear hoping, just hoping that he will hear my hopes and prayers- for my family, for my friends, for myself.

So... as we head off into this next season, marked as always by the start of school, let's pray and hope for as much fabulousness as we can all stand.  Here's my munchies on the very first day of this new season...

Love to you all-
C

If Someone Had Told Me....

(This post is really one day later than I wanted it to be.... but I had a few 'technical' difficulties.  Warning... super sappy and picture heavy post to follow....)

Dear Mr. Furedy,
23 years ago- We spent a summer talking, holding hands (which at the time was quite shocking behavior for both of us) and sweating to death on my parent's front porch.

22 years ago- After a long year of ignoring each other, at at the urging (of more than a few) friends (who apparently saw something that neither you or I could see), we decided to give it another try.  This time with real dates and MUCH more than holding hands.

(Yes, this is a picture, of Joe and I in Mr. Steiner's AP Physics class.  That's Sherwood's arm to the right of us.  And no, I don't understand why a teacher let us act like this in class, but from what folks say, this is pretty much what Joe and I were like all through high school.)

20 years ago- Our time in high school came to a close- Prom (remember the horse drawn carriage ride?), Graduation, tons of memories and fun- and you are part of every single one of them.  It was a fun time, and a scary time as you headed off to Tucson for a new adventure (that I worried about because it didn't include me.)  Little did I know how much you would be home, and how quickly you would transfer back to ASU.

(Ah, the awesome blue dress, the 3 hours at the beauty salon to achieve that hair do, the white carnations dyed to match...  such memories!)

19 years ago- The accident happened.  Overnight, I became a grown-up.  And the only person who was here with me to hold my hand and tell me that it would be okay was you.

17 years ago- You surprised me (and our friends AND families) with a proposal of marriage.  I'll never forget that evening and the ring box sliding across the table to me- when you told me that you couldn't imagine your life with out me in it.

16 years ago- We made it official and became husband and wife.  And I didn't promise to 'obey'.  Despite the fact that you didn't want or need the big ceremony in the church with all the people, you did that for me.  Because of me.

15 years ago- Who knew a first year of marriage would involve us seeing each other LESS than we had ever seen each other before?  But we made it through- my first year of teaching and your last year of college.  We thought we had it made when that year was over... little did we know the job search that was ahead for you.....

13 years ago- Our first home.  How glad we were to leave behind that apartment, the drug dealing neighbors (He stole my pot!) and that carpet that never really ever smelled right.  It was a sign... we were becoming adults.  Little did we know how much of my family would live with us in that little house!

13 years ago- We became parents.  To a 6 lb. bundle of yellow-white fur.  Nobody told us how hard puppy raising would be!  And although she was never as good of a dog as Pogue was (our dog role model) Ellie was a  good girl... and a part of so many of my memories of that time in our lives.

(This is the night I graduated with my Master's Degree... you have always supported my continued search for more education.  I know that paying for this degree was a huge challenge, but I appreciate the support you gave me through the entire process.)

11 years ago- The stick had two lines.  Life was about to change, and change for good. 

10 years ago- Lots of bedrest and one missed Thanksgiving dinner later, Miss Julia Corrinne arrived (too many consonants!)- she was yellow and skinny and wrinkled and a little mad at the world, and we loved her just the same.  You helped me do the two things that I wanted most... to have a natural delivery and to exclusively nurse (and I don't think we had any idea how easy the first one would be and how hard the second one would be...)  You were such a trooper during those first few really hard months... you became a protector, a daddy, and we became a real family.

 (This is one of my favorite pictures from Julia's christening.  See how tired we look?  We were REALLY that tired.  When you don't sleep for 4 months straight... this is what you look like!)

9 years ago- Not planned (I know, I know, I don't know how to count) but the time had come and Miss Julia was going to be a 'big' sister.  At the same time, I was going to school for my principal's certificate and you were studying for your PE.  I remember working, caring for Julia, puking my guts out and you and I studying.  That is all.

8 years ago- More bedrest, hospital time and being really scared- but in the end it all worked out just the way it should... and Mr. Colin James (not enough consonants!) entered our lives.  His easy going nature was a good and welcome addition to our little family.... that was now complete.

 (This photo was taken at Paige's baby shower....  we were anxiously awaiting the arrival of our first cousin to play with... Asher!)

7 years ago- My principalship adventure.  I will say no more.  It was the rockiest road that we ever walked together... and I wasn't sure by the end if we would still be walking side by side.  But we made it through....


6 years ago- A new, beautiful home for our family to grow in.... that needed just a bit of love.  And oh yea, a whole new kitchen please!

5 years ago- We sent the girlie off to Kindergarten.  I'll never forget both of us walking to our cars after her class went in, holding hands and wiping the tears away.

4 years ago- I started a journey to a new me.  A healthier, skinnier, stronger me.  And you've supported me through every step of that journey.  Which I know is not always easy, but you are always there, encouraging me to become what I want to be...

2 years ago- A swollen arm following a canyoneering trip that lead to one of the scariest times in our lives.  I will never forget that first night, when you were in surgery and I was waiting for you all alone and I thought about what my life would be like without you.  It was one of my darkest moments.  I prayed so hard for God to leave you on earth with me because I couldn't imagine walking through this life without you by my side.

 (What I love about this photo is that it shows what you looked at everyday that you were in the hospital... you looked at photos of your KIDS.  Because that was your motivation to get better...)

1 year ago- An escape to Vegas to celebrate LIFE, health, and our marriage... and yes, somehow you convinced me to jump out of an airplane?

Today- Today, we celebrate 16 years of marriage and 22 (or 23 depending on how you count) years of a relationship.  Our years together have been filled with so many joys, and a few sorrows.  We have walked this road of life together, hand in hand.  I've grown up with you by myside.  We have changed so much over the years, experienced so many things, and loved each other through every moment.

If someone had told me, 23 years ago, that I would still be walking with you by my side every day, I would have told them they were crazy.

If someone had told me 16 years ago, that I would love you MORE now than I did then, I would have said it wasn't possible.  But I do.  Love you more.  Everyday.

If someone had told me, 6 years ago, that we could mend what we had broken and that we would emerge stronger and better than we were before, I would have told them it wasn't possible.

If someone had told me , 2 years ago, that I would have you with me today, as healthy and as active as you were before the blood clot, I would have told them that it was a dream come true.

If someone had told me...
that our lives would turn out this way, that our story would grow and change like this, I would have told them it wasn't possible because stories like this only happen in books or in the movies.

Happy anniversary Mr. Furedy!
Your Carrie

The Summer of Our Lives (Totally!)

If you follow me on Twitter OR on Facebook (or both, I know, I have a problem.. probably need an intervention, but who has time for that?) you know that I'm on a modified work schedule and I've squeezed in a few (just a few, but my consecutive two weeks off are coming... SOON) vacation days to stay home and enjoy my kiddos.  I actually found myself refusing to let my dear daughter have a playdate this week on one of the days that I had with them because it was the first day all summer that I was going to have Colin and Julia *all* to myself.  To just kick back, be their mom and ENJOY (now, after a few more of these days, I am wondering just WHAT I was thinking, but anyway...).  Please don't be concerned.  Mr. Furedy is still around (he loves us a lot...) but he's still working his normal schedule, so during the day it's just me and the kiddos.

We are doing our best to cross items off of our Summer List and we are making EXCELLENT progress (we are also making good progress on the list that I did NOT share with the world,the list that isn't written in pretty colors on a posterboard but rather scrawled on a ratty piece of notebook paper, the- decrapify the Furedy household list- not nearly as much fun for the kids or for myself, but at the same time very satisfying).

Here's some photo evidence of our recent summer fun for your viewing pleasure...

Of course, the first picture I want to share is NOT of my kiddos, but of some summer fun that I had with my bestie Karen when she went to see (the most awesome hairstylist in the world.. I can provide his contact info folks!) my dear friend Drew to get her locks cut.  We had a GREAT time that night.... (and yes, for those of you wondering, she is practically kneeling in this photo so our heads can be close together- that's what happens when your friend is a foot taller than you are!)

Here's Mr. Furedy (see, I told you he's still around) and the kiddos on Father's Day at Olive Garden.  Father's Day was rock awesome with an amazing breakfast with our amazing Papa (thanks to the amazing Nana), followed by some great family time (can you say pasta AND game night- can't believe my kiddos are old enough to play Dominion with us!)

The kids and I spent one very memorable and very awesome afternoon with their GreatGrandma Miriam (aka GG), their Great Aunt Kate (aka GAK), and their Grandma Paulette (no aka here, just Gramma).  We hung out, ate Subway, and played games.  I don't know how many more uninterrupted and relaxed afternoons we are going to have with our dear GG, so this was a wonderful way to spend a summer day.

Uncle Andrew and Aunt Stacy have a new house.  And their new house has a basketball hoop.  As soon as Colin saw that, he decided that he really *needed* to play basketball with Uncle Andrew (this is really shocking coming from my non-team sport playing son, but hey, maybe he's branching out).  Their basketball 'smackdown' turned into a family barbeque.  Only thing that would have made it better?  Yeah, maybe that it wasn't like 115 degrees outside.  Here's the competition....

Julia and Daddy even got in on the act (I think this would be considered *cheating*, but maybe I don't understand the rules of basketball either.. oh, and yet more photo evidence of Mr. Furedy!)

We even took a walk down to look at the lake.... here's the 'better' side of our family.... (he, he... I'm taking the photo of course, I would never share that 'end' of myself, but where is Colin you ask?  Up the hill about 50 feet waiting for all us to hurry up and get done so more basketball could be played...)

This post is now SO picture heavy that I'm amazed Blogger is still allowing me to type... so I think I will close.  We are (totally) having the summer of our lives (I don't know what words to use to fully describe the joy in my heart right now).  There are so many things that we've done that aren't captured here... summer movies, outside dinners, many trips to the library, long bike rides (again, why do we decide that is fun when it is so dang hot?) and that doesn't even touch all the cool stuff that Julia and Colin have done with Nana and Papa while Joe and I are at work.

Hope your summer is going well... and that you are having a chance to sit back and enjoy your life as it is in this moment, because my friends *that* is what it is all about....

Have an awesome day. (and yes, you may be wondering WHY I am posting in the morning, when I never post in the morning and always at night?  It may, just may, have something to do with exercise avoidance.  But, I am going.  Right now.  Promise.)
C

Summer 2011

I got inspired (yes, I got inspired after my last *uninspired* post) by reading this blog, and decided that we needed a 'Summer 2011' list at the Furedy household.  The kiddos (with some strong suggestions from mommy) spent a few evenings brainstorming things that they would like to do this summer.  I added a few things, and created our Summer List (I'll just say that I know there are things they added to the list without checking with the person who would do those things with them... so if you are reading this and you see you've been recruited to our summer list... I am very sorry, but ... you love our kids... right?)

Here's the list in all it's glory....

And of course, once you have the list, you need to start crossing things off... right?  (you'll notice I didn't get the picture BEFORE Colin crossed something off.. I think he likes lists too!)  If you have really good eyesight, you can see that on Sunday night we crossed off our first item by heading to Dave and Busters.  We really enjoy this place, but it can be a fairly expensive night out (although we had a coupon for $10 of free game play and Joe and I's dinners each came with $10 of game play, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been), so it isn't some place that we go often.  But... we always have a lot of family fun (where we all play and laugh and goof around together) while we are there.  I noticed that this time the kids were providing the direction- 'there's a game over there I want to play' rather than Joe and I suggesting things.  They are growing up way too fast...  Here are a few photos of our first summer outing.  We'll start with a happy Mommy and Daddy...

 

Followed by some happy kids...

 

Colin won about 500 tickets on this one game.  He was SO proud of himself...

 

Overall, I think it was a good choice for the first summer thing... now we are just trying to figure out what comes next... and also trying to figure out how you check off something that you do more than once (for example the kids are more than half way done with the Summer Reading Program at the library... so do we check that off when they are actually done?).  I'm sure we'll figure it out!

So, my friends, what's on YOUR summer list?? (if you noticed, I've got a little space at the bottom if you have a great idea!)
:)  Night all.
C

Inspired Much?

Earlier today I was at the Kyrene Karnival (the Leadership Team theme for 2011) sitting under the big top (that would be training rooms 4 & 5 at the District Office) hearing the sounds of the circus (music from Gina's i-pod) and smelling the wonderful aroma of popcorn (Really.  Really.  We had a popcorn machine!)

And while I was there I had the most awesome idea for a  blog post....  I was inspired to come home and write and wax poetic about some topic....

But somewhere in today.... somewhere in the chaos of kicking off a summer program (huge hugs to Jo and Lexy for their handling of that situation), pulling off Leadership Team Karnival games (find the duck with a quarter on it's butt), PARS (how many PARS can you submit in 20 minutes?  I can do 16!), interviews and other fun (we did have a lot of fun today!)....  I lost track of that inspired blog post.

Check back soon.... I may find it again somewhere in the recesses of my mind (and then again, maybe not, but there is always hope!)....
:)  Have a great evening.
C

Seasons

Last night, Joe and I had the pleasure of having a dear friend and her (delightful) children over for dinner.  Joe has been friends with JanElaine (aka JES) since 2nd grade... she and I became friends in 5th grade.  There were lots of ups and downs in our friendship when we were younger, but as we've grown older, we've kept in touch.  She flew in (and then flew back home less than 24 hours later) for Joe and I's wedding.  We drove to California to see her marry her husband Andy on the beach.   The last time we saw JES was about 10 years ago.  Julia was a tiny baby, and her daughter Lara was a toddler.  Since then, JES has moved to Hawaii.  And she has added two more adorable munchkins to her family... Kai and Kiana (and when I say adorable, I mean adorable... these kids were cute, polite and tons of fun!)

Despite the fact that we haven't seen each other in 10 years and our only contact has been Facebook posts (me posting all the time, she posts rarely) and Christmas letters (mine always boring and predictable, hers are funny and light)- we picked up just like we had talked the day before.  We had some really great conversation....

One of the things that JES talked about a lot during our conversation (as the kids partied in the pool) were the seasons of her life.  She talked about her current season (raising kids, supporting her husband, and living in Hawaii) and the seasons to come (maybe a season in the snow).  We also talked about lots of our shared past seasons... from childhood memories of her hanging out at my house after piano lessons, to double dates, to hard times that we've each experienced. We talked about families, and the seasons that we've experienced as daughters, as mothers, as friends.

All that talking about seasons really got me thinking... about the season that has just passed for Joe and I and our kiddos, and the seasons that are still ahead of us.  Seems like we are really in transition right now- our last season was a hard one- but a new season is dawning and it seems to have the potential to be a wonderful season for us all....

That's all I've got for tonight folks (between weekend travels, family drama, work stress.. I am totally exhausted), but I have to say thanks to JES for reminding me that we are passing through seasons... and that each season will have good times and bad, joy and sorrow and that each season of our lives will be distinctly unique and different and should be enjoyed and experienced as it happens...

Here's some photos from two very different seasons of our lives... Joe and I with JES at her wedding (I know, what was with the glasses and the bangs?) and then Joe, JES and I last night (as captured by Miss Julia- she looked long and hard at the first picture to make sure to get the second one just right...)

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven....

Night all.
C

Family...

Anybody who knows me, and knows me well (or even not so well) knows the high level of importance that I place on family relationships.  My husband is my best friend (in the whole wide world), and my kids are the center of my universe (and that is not an exaggeration).  My parents are involved in our daily lives (especially as part of the kid's lives).  Joe swears that one of the main reasons (besides his handsome face and his loving nature) that I fell in love with him is because of his large extended family (and he isn't wrong).

I remember when Joe and I first started dating.... he would invite me to family gatherings.  And I would be amazed (like open gaping mouth amazed) at the amount of people who would be there.  See, growing up, our family was pretty tiny.  Being in the military, we moved a lot, and didn't live near any of our extended family.  So, if we had a *family* birthday party, it was just that, our nuclear family.  5 people.  No criticism of that, we had a lot of fun as a five person family, and I remember my mom and dad going out of their way to make those family events very tradition filled and fun (if you aren't familiar with my love affair with traditions, you should read here).  But at the same time, it did not prepare me for what Joe called a 'family function'.  There would be aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents and friends and more and more and more.  Joe's family has been in Arizona for four generations... and most of his family has chosen to stay in Arizona... so when they get together, they *really* get together.  Even going to a 'nuclear' family birthday party for Joe included a lot of people- because his mom and dad were divorced and his mom remarried, resulting in a step-dad and half siblings.  And I loved it.  (Correction, I love it.)

Combine Joe's extended family here in the valley with the fact that my entire nuclear family is still here... and we end up with a LOT of family.  And it is awesome.  I love that my kiddos have had the opportunity to know their great-grandmother (especially now as her health is fading and I don't know how much longer she will be part of our lives).  I love the fact that Grandma and Nana know my kiddos.  They don't have to guess at what they would like for a birthday present... because they see them and interact with them enough to just know what is right.  I love the fact that my kiddos count their cousins as some of their best friends (not Cora Jane just yet, but once she gets a little older...)  I love the fact that when you look at our calendar each month, you see that it is filled to the brim with family gatherings, birthday parties, dinners together, helping each other move... all the stuff that you WANT to do for those you love.

Unfortunately (you knew there would be a downside to this post didn't you... couldn't you see it coming?), as much as I love the family that we have, as much as I cherish the relationships... it isn't always easy.  In fact, at times it is downright hard.  I'll say that it was harder when I was younger.  I was a total control freak (okay, still am, but I'm working on it...).  And control freak and LARGE family isn't always a good combination.  You don't always get your way.  You don't always get what you want.  You have to compromise (and there have been some ugly moments, most of which I own the responsibility for, but I've learned well how to apologize).  I will say having the kids has really mellowed me out about family... I think having kids just lowers your expectations about events and happenings.  You realize that it won't be perfect, so you learn to appreciate when it is just good.  But, sometimes, it just isn't good.  In fact, sometimes it is downright bad.

Joe and I are faced with a bad family situation right now.  I won't go into the gory details- that isn't the point.  However, we are in this situation (unfortunately).  We've tried.  We've really, really tried to fix it.  Gone above and beyond and out of our way to fix it.  We've soul searched.  We've tried to conform more to what we thought this person wanted.  But, despite lots and lots of time and effort (over many years), we are now faced with the fact that it isn't any better (like not even a smidge).  In fact it is worse.  It's to the point that it's hurting more than we can stand... and we are getting worried about how it is impacting our kids.  So, what to do?

What do you do when you've built your world, your existence, your kid's lives around the idea that FAMILY is what this life is all about?  And then part of that family (a part that just happens to have been very important to all of us) starts to damage your nuclear family.  What decisions do you make?  How do you move forward?  (I have to note here that this issue involves just a few people... and strangely enough, going through this experience has brought us even closer to other members of the family... so there is at least one bright spot in the middle of the darkness.)

This is destroying me.  I want so badly to fix this, to fix this part of our family, to fix something that I cannot fix.  And my husband, (that dear sweet guy I started this post by talking about?), yeah, he's hurting too... a lot.  And I can't fix that either- which probably upsets me more than anything else.

So for now, I'll go to bed and hope that somehow, somewhere an answer to this current conundrum will emerge- if you have insight for me.... it's so welcome right now my friends.

Good night...
C

PS  Julia just came downstairs to kiss me good night.  She commented "You've been blogging a lot in the last few days.  That's cool.  I'm glad."  Good to know even my kids have noticed that I've got my groove back.

Ch-ch-ch-changes....

Another school year has ended.  And as always, there are mixed emotions (at least for the momma.)  On one hand, I am looking forward to the summer (and since we left on a short trip to spend some time with the cousins, Poohbah and Grandma Sherry on Friday we've kicked immediatly into summer mode in a very quick fashion this year). 

It's odd.  I still work in the summer (I do work less, that is for sure, but 4 days a week I am still getting up and heading into the office).  Joe works his regular schedule in the summer.  So, life changes, but at the same time it doesn't.  Regardless, summer brings about a whole change of attitude in the Furedy home.  We are more relaxed, mellow- life runs at such a different pace.  We love it.  All of us.  And we know it's fleeting, which I think makes us all cherish it just a little bit more.  I love it when I tuck my kids in on summer nights and they smell of sunscreen & chlorine & sunshine & watermelon... and that smell can just make me pause.  (a company should really try to capture that smell in a perfume, because I do believe they would make a million dollars) 

On the flip side, we do mourn just a little bit at the end of the school year.  The kids know that we are heading in to a summer where they won't see their friends very often.  We live SO far from school, and it really is a bummer for the kids (especially Julia who is getting to the age where friends are getting really important.)  The kids say good-bye to their teachers, which is always bittersweet.  This was especially hard for Julia this year because she had to say good-bye to Ms. Munzinger- her gifted teacher- who she has been with for the last two years.  Colin even had a hard time saying good-bye to his teacher this year... they had a really great relationship and I think he will really miss her.  There is also something about the structure of school that keeps us all moving- and sometimes- despite the joy of summer, we all (especially Julia and I) miss the routines of the school year.

But, such is the ebb and flow of our lives right now.... and I am trying hard to live in the moment and enjoy the right now... because as  I watch my kiddos I am only more and more aware of how fleeting these moments are... how quickly they are growning and how soon they will be gone.  If you think that isn't true... check out the photos below.  Here's a photo of my kiddos on the last day of school- last year compared to this year....

May, 2010

May 2011

Off to play some games, swim, pick Joshua Tree fruit (and avoid the horrific winds that have impeded our mini-vacation more than just a little bit)....  have a wonderful long weekend everyone, and here's to the best summer ever!

C

So, It's Been a Little While....

So, it's been a little while since I've been here.  (okay, maybe more than a *little* while, but hey, cut me some slack).  I'm not sure why I haven't written more in the last few months....  my typical mode is to write a lot when there is a lot going on.... and there has been a lot going on.  But for some reason, the mood to write really hasn't struck me lately. (And that is unusual for me... often times when I don't post I'm just too busy to post, but I'm constantly thinking 'ah... now that would be a good blog post.')  But for the last few months I haven't had even a desire to write... to the point that I was seriously thinking about closing up shop at this location.

But (as it always seems to happen) when I am ready to close down this little blog, retire the posts and close the comments section.... I get a little itch.  Just a little itch.  A need to write 'it' down.  Whether it be a good 'it' or a bad 'it' or a this is just how life is rolling 'it', I have the urge to come here and purge the thoughts out of my brain (be afraid folks, what cruises around my brain at any given time can be very frightening....  be afraid, be very afraid)  What's weird this time is that I don't have a post all ready to go... I don't have the specific 'it' that I want to write about, but at the same time there are lots of 'its' rolling around... some of which just aren't quite ready to make their way to the page and out for the public to read. 

I've been fairly public during the past few months about the ongoing struggles that I have had with the pain in my neck (and no, you smarty pants, I'm not talking about a hypothetical pain in my neck, but the very literal pain that I have had in my neck and my back).  I will not bore you with all of the details, but after several months of seeking relief, I believe that I am finally on my way to being pain free.

The lessons learned from this experience are:

1.  Despite the fact that I am very proud of the fact that I gave birth to my two children naturally and without drugs, this accomplishment pales in comparison to the folks who live with chronic pain each day, and I promise to *never* reference this little accomplishment when someone talks about being in pain *ever again*.

2.  When your gut tells you that you need to get a second opinion when it comes to taking care of your health, go with your gut.  Even if your gut isn't telling you this, but someone close to you (or multiple someones- hey, I *never* said I wasn't stubborn) is telling you this... listen.  Seeking a new doctor resulted in some fast action and much desired relief (that probably could have come a lot earlier and with a lot less drama). 

3.  Your friends and your family is what this life is really about.  Not work, or money, or anything else.  Family and friends.  Friends and family.  Awesome.  No more words for this topic.


I think I'll wrap this up for the evening.  But, I will say that coming back here feels good, so I think I'll give it a try again.  As I mentioned, there are lots of little thoughts, little 'its' ready to wander right from the strange pathways in my brain to my little fingers and out onto this here little blog.  Hope you'll come back and visit again...

And for now, off for an evening swim with my two lovebugs... can't believe it's the last Sunday of the school year.  Guess that might be the next little 'it' to talk about...

Night.
C

For All Who Have Loved....

I am currently sitting in the Denver airport with my brother Andrew killing time (also known as playing on our laptops- well, I'm playing, I think he is actually being productive) until our flight leaves to bring us home to Phoenix.  We are on the downside of a whirlwind trip to Leadville, Colorado- a rather unscheduled and unplanned trip to our 'unofficial' hometown to attend our aunt's funeral.  My Aunt Martie passed away earlier this week after a massive heart attack (there will be more about this soon... we all need to be so much more aware of how heart attacks present differently in women than in men).  Words just can not capture the emotions that have flowed through our family during the past few weeks....

I've tried and tried to write something here that feels right- that captures who Martie was to me, to my mom, to her children and to her grandchildren, but I can't find the right words.  She was only 54 years old.  And that is just not old enough.  Period.  She wasn't done here on Earth- she wasn't done being a mom, a grandma, a sister or a friend.  And to think of her kids living the rest of their lives without their mom... to think of her grandchildren growing up without her being part of their lives- it is incomprehensible.   (And truthfully, I think this is where it really eats at me... to think of Julia and Colin losing either their Nana or their Grandma at this point.in their lives.. I can't even fathom it).  I know there is a method to this madness- that there is a reason for all that happens in this world- but I am really seeking to understand those reasons right now.  I know that the impact of Martie's passing will ripple through our family for years to come- she will be missed by so many. 

My heart breaks for Nick and Emily (her children)  and for my mom and dad.  For all who knew and loved her, who held her dear, who laughed and cried and yelled and smiled with her. For all whose lives she touched (and that number is many).  Martie.. You will be missed.

So, with that I will end.  Not a lot of words, but words that mean a whole lot. 
Night all-
C

P.S.  I really can't end this post without saying how much I love and appreciate my brother (who flew on this trip so that I could travel despite my ongoing health issues), my mom and dad (who had to drive the pass TWICE at night and through ice to come to the airport to pick us up AND who had to listen to my craziness for the last few days), my friend Karen (who despite some reservations, took me to get an epidural under general anesthesia AND then put me on an airplane just 3 hours later), my mother-in-law Paulette (who took over Julia and Colin care when neither Joe or I could be there), my friends (who have prayed and listened and just been my friends during the past month) and finally, Mr. Furedy (who just as always is there for me- always, always, always in every possible way).  I am so very blessed.  Very very blessed.

Second Christmas

Some of you may be familiar with the little tradition that we have among the Furedy/ Singer/ Woodard clan that we lovingly call... Second Christmas.

Second Christmas began about 6 years ago or so, when our collaborative clan started getting so large that Christmas shopping began in June and consumed at least one entire paycheck during the month of December (you think I am exaggerating, but seriously, NOT EXAGGERATING).  The entire group got together and discussed what we could do to alleviate the shopping and budgetary strain (bet you wish you could have been a fly on the wall during THAT conversation).  A couple of key ideas emerged from our talk that day... we decided that kids should all get gifts, but that the adults would draw names.... and that one of the key things that we all wanted most was to spend more time together.  And we REALLY wanted to spend time together- away from the day to day routine of life in Phoenix/ Tucson (again, not sure what we were thinking at the time...). As one-quarter of the group is always gone for several weeks in December (the Furedy/Singer clan always heads back East to hang with Paige's family over the holidays) we also needed to find a time after Christmas that would work for us all to have an extended period of time together.

So, each year since, we have gone on a trip together over the long weekend in January that includes the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday.  This allows us to have a Friday evening through Monday afternoon extended weekend (enough time to enjoy each other, but not get on each others nerves... at least not too much).

Year One we all stayed in a hotel, with Grandma Paulette and Grandpa Steve's timeshare as our 'home base'.  This was a nice first attempt, but resulted in a difficult weekend of trying to figure out who was where and what we were doing and when-  all conducted by cell phone because we weren't in the same place (yep, not fun).  We were also forced into eating every meal in a restaurant (and since Colin was a toddler at the time also means that I don't think I sat down to eat a meal even once while we were there).

Here's a picture of Vanessa helping Julia try on her flower girl dress for her wedding
(which would take place the following Spring)
during our inaugural 2nd Christmas...

Year Two upgraded to a bed and breakfast in Tucson- we ended up renting out the entire place.  What can I say about that trip other than... yeah... bed and breakfasts are NOT made for groups of our size and makeup.  I think the owners about had a heart attack before the weekend was over because we (hold on to your hats folks) used their kitchen to fix a dessert.   They were also stressed out by our kids the entire weekend (and if our really well-behaved kids stress you out, well... you just might have a problem). We were also still tied to a lot of restaurant eating...

Here's Joe, Paige and Gundry enjoying our snow hike on Mt. Lemmon during Year Two....

Year Three upgraded us to renting a house in Flagstaff, which we have done every year since.  I won't say that this has been without it's share of issues (and family disagreements and one major all out family war that I am still not sure that we've ever totally recovered from..) but over all, the house rental has been a successful approach that allows us to spend time together, cook our own meals, play endless board games and of course celebrate Christmas (yep, the whole thing, a tree, and presents and all). 

Here are a few photos of our rather enjoyable 2nd Christmas of 2011.... (here I will apologize in advance for the lack of photos of Aunt Bic, Great Grandma Miriam (GG) and of course Joe, plus limited representation of Jason and Mike... not sure why, but they seem to be lacking in my photos.  We do LOVE you guys...)

The house... a delightful rental from VRBO...

 

Let the Second Christmas Begin......

 

Grandma Paulette and Grandpa Steve

G-man

Aunt Paige and her camera...

  

Aunt Vanessa and the best part of 2nd Christmas #6,

The addition of Cora to our family...

 

Miss Cora enjoying some blueberries... 

One of the best moments of the trip was getting to rock this little one to sleep.  What fun....

 

Julia goofing around...

 

Celebrating Eric's birthday with apple pie 

and one rock awesome card...

Asher catching some air...

 

And of course, a rocking game of Pictionary...

 

It is a great tradition, and one that I hope we will enjoy for years to come.  Sounds like next year we will be checking out the Showlow area for a different house (Aunt Vanessa is already hunting for us...).  Despite the ups and downs and ins and outs of getting 17 people together for a weekend, it's a weekend that I wouldn't trade for the world (and I'm happy that my kids just take 2nd Christmas for granted... like everyone in the world celebrates Christmas all over again in January...).

Night all...

C

PS  10 days to go.  :)