A Little Like Sushi

Life has been a series of ups and downs lately.  More downs than ups for the last few weeks I would say, and all resulting in a great deal of personal reflection, acceptance, and lots and lots of prayer.

I think I've learned a LOT about myself in the last month or so- about my resiliency, my stamina, my strengths, my weaknesses, and my flaws.  Above all else, I have been reminded in many many ways that I am simply human.  Not super-mom.  Not perfect.  Not innocent.  Not impeccable.

And, at the same time, I have been reminded that I am human.  I am loved.  I am cherished.  I am imperfect.  I am well-intentioned.  I am prideful.  I am overbearing.  I am honest.  I am learning (daily, if not every moment).  I am loving.  I am me.

I appreciate more than anything that I have been loved and supported through this entire process.  By kids who don't quite know or understand adult issues, but know that Momma need some extra loves and smiles right now.  By parents who are listening, and listening, and listening as I struggle through my uncertainty and my growing.  By a spouse who has held me tight, who has reminded me who I am, and who has pushed me to be more than who I was before.

And all of this, all that has gone on, has left me a little raw (you know, kinda like sushi?). 

Raw- a little tender to the touch...a little sensitive and a little over aware of all that is happening around me.  I'm seeing gremlins around every corner, in every conversation, in every e-mail.  And I've gotta get away from that.  I've gotta keep healing those wounds, grow some new skin, and take on the world again.

I've gotta get back to me, the person who loves her body enough to not fuel it on gummy bears and diet coke, who knows she really does need 8 hours of sleep everyday to do her best at her life, who calls the doctor to deal with the backache that just keeps growing, who prioritizes her life better.  So watch out world, cause I'm on my way back.  (but be kind, 'cause I'm kinda like sushi still, and I don't think it would take too much to send me back to where I've been).

"To act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
Micah 6:8

I'm gonna get started right now.  I'm closing my bag of gummy bears.  Closing up my e-mail in-box.  Heading to bed.  If I go to sleep right now, I won't get 8 hours, but I'll be close. 
Love you all.
C