SuperBowl at the Furedy House

So I have a confession to make (are you prepared?  sitting down?).  We are probably the most un-American family out there because (I am warning you... you should sit down).... we do not watch the SuperBowl.  I know, I know.  You are now thinking that you need to stop reading this blog immediately and make sure that you delete your browser history just so no one knows that you EVER associated with our type.

Joe has never been that much into sports... and as for me... yeah.  We are lucky that I know the difference between a basketball and a football.  So, the desire to watch an entire game of football really isn't there.  We don't watch football at all during the regular season... so we don't much see the point of watching it after the regular season.  (In fact, Colin came home from school asking Joe and I who was playing in the SuperBowl this year and it took the two of us about 15 minutes to come up with the names of the teams...)

Then, there are the commercials.  And truthfully, those little gems DREW us in to the game for a couple of years.  See... since MOST normal (yeah, I know, again you cannot believe you are still reading this blog...) folks in our country DO watch the game... the commercials are SERIOUS water cooler fodder on Monday.  And you know, we were trying to keep our little non-sports secret (ha ha, until this darn blog post)  so we would watch the game for the commercials.  (Well, watch the game might be a little bit of an overstatement... we would play a game or do something else and just watch the commercials... then with the advent of TiVo, we learned to record the game and just fast forward to see the commercials... totally backwards from our normal behavior.)  But, over time, even this lost it's luster, and became not that important to us.  See... the radio stations, the news stations, and the Internet all FULLY cover the commercials... so you can actually skip watching them and STILL know what folks are talking about on Monday morning (usually you even know enough to participate in the conversation).

Now, we have given in a few times in the past few years... occasionally we get invited to a party and we usually go to that because it is fun and our kids have a great time (and I usually still don't watch the game... I mean seriously, I sit in the kitchen and eat.  Because there is NO better food than SuperBowl snacks).  We watched the year that the Cardinals were in the game (because seriously, we would have definately gotten kicked out of the country for missing the SuperBowl when the hometown team was playing...)  But, in general, we just don't watch.

So... what do we do?  Well... here's a little known secret (and again, I'm blowing it on the blog!).  You can get into basically ANY restaurant during the SuperBowl without waiting.  You know that little bistro down the street that usually has a two hour wait?  Yep, not during the Super Bowl.  The new BBQ place that has only been open for a month and you haven't even been able to get near the door... yep.. no wait during the SuperBowl!

We chose Red Lobster this year.  (I know, not TOO exciting, but...)  The Red Lobster down the street from our house usually has up to a 2 hour wait on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights.  We have kids.  We really don't wait to go to restaurants... 'cause that would be insane.  I love Red Lobster when I am watching my caloric intake (because they have lots of grilled shrimp choices... which I can have!) and Miss Julia loves to eat there because they have crab legs on the kid's menu.  So... Red Lobster it was.  We walked right in, were seated right away, and got EXCELLENT service.  It was nice.  We lingered over dinner (hey, there was NOBODY waiting for our table...) and just had some great family time.  I think we'll plan ahead more next year... I need to write down those restaurants that we usually can't get into as the year goes on, 'cause we really couldn't think of them today when it dawned on us that our dining opportunity had arrived again.

Now... (if you are still reading....) the only issue is this... I believe that we are raising a son who is sports 'challenged' due to his parents lack of Americanism.  Anybody out there want to adopt Colin sometime so he can learn about football and be more of a part of society than his parents?  Thanks.  We appreciate your help!

I know this post is farewell to some of my followers.  Please know I loved having you stop by, and if you can ever forgive me, I would love to have you back.
Night all.
C

The.Black.Cloud.

So... some (okay, every stinkin' person who knows me or reads this darn blog) people might (okay, absolutely for sure) have noticed that the Furedy Family has had a bit (okay, one ginormous) black cloud hovering over our heads for the last six months or so....  four surgeries, two hospitalizations, one canceled cruise, two cases of strep, one case of pneumonia, one cracked tooth (that one hasn't even made the blog yet), two bouts of stomach bugs, one speeding ticket (oh yeah, that didn't make the blog either!), more hospital bills than you could count (how about over $150,000 in medical expenses... thank goodness for insurance... but if you think about 10%.... yikes!), and on and on and on.  Overall, I think we have handled this with some level (okay, just a little bit) of grace... I mean.... the kids were fed, clothed and loved during this whole experience, the house remained standing (although not always clean), and we managed to stay married.  :)  But, it has been a rough (okay, totally traumatic and CRAZY) six months and we are ready for it all to be over.....

And I am having true faith that it is OVER.  We have weathered this storm.  The cloud is passing (seriously, because if it doesn't, I'm not quite sure that we can hang on to any sort of grace...).  So, as always (okay, some of the time) after a, shall we call it 'experience', I try to reflect on what I have learned (better known as what slapped me in the face as I was going through the 'experience').  This time, since it was really my whole family, this post will try to reflect on what we (yes, that would be the 'royal' we) learned.

We learned that as a family, we are STRONG.  That we can face situations head on (well, maybe not head on, but we can still face them even if we are cowering a bit in the corner...).

We learned (again, 'cause seriously we have learned this lesson before) that we have an AMAZING family (okay, not all of them, sorry to say it but a few of these folks kinda let us down while this was all going on, but that is a learning too) and an AMAZING group of friends (and now, I'm talking about all of them... and even a few 'acquaintances') who stood by us.  Who comforted us.  Who fed us.  Who held our hands.  Who cried with us.  Who prayed with us.  Who LOVED us.  I even had a friend who just listened.  That's all.  I would just call her and she would just listen to me (not saying much at all).  And then when I was done she would tell me she loved me and that everything would be okay and we would hang up.  Amazing.  Beautiful. 

We learned that taking a deep breath is a very important skill.  And slowing down a bit might really be a good idea.  And that when you slow down... you do see more, experience more, and appreciate more the world that surrounds you.

Moving on to my learnings...
I learned (again) that Joe is a FANTASTIC dad.  He really does know how to care for our kids, to meet their needs, to feed them nutritious meals, and to help them with homework.  And maybe, just maybe I should back off a little bit and let him do that a little more often.

I learned that I really do love spending time puttering around my house.  And cooking.  And baking.  And stitching.  And reading.  And decorating.  And DIYing.  And blogging.  And I'd love to have more time to do that more often.  And maybe, just maybe, I'd like to be defined more by some of these things than by my career.  (and no, I'm not quitting my job.... but I think I need to redefine a little bit).

I learned that I want to be the kind of friend or family member that really reaches out.  REALLY reaches out when someone is struggling.  I learned how valuable it is to just be that friend who listens.  I learned that it really isn't annoying when you call someone who is having a bad time... and if they don't want to talk at that minute that you can leave a message on the phone... and it WILL matter to them later.  I learned that you do notice who calls you, who supports you, who prays for you.  And those people become more 'your people' because of it.

I have several dear friends who are really having a hard time right now.  Experiencing their own 'black cloud'.  For some of them it is a mini-cloud.... and for others it is a cloud that dwarfs the one that we faced.  And my heart aches for them.  ACHES.  But I learned... so I will be different for them.  I will do the things that others did for me.  And maybe, just maybe, that was what I was SUPPOSED to learn.

If you are the praying kind, can you keep our family in your prayers? (I'd just like the extra insurance that the cloud has passed...)  And keep those around me in your prayers?

And if you aren't the praying kind... just think good thoughts for all the folks you love.
Night all.  Here's to sunny skies.

C

Manipulation

Manipulation- exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage.

That seems to be the word- or at least the action for the week.

In the past week I have watched co-workers, parents of other children in the Kyrene school district and *multiple* family members utilize the skill of manipulation to get what they wanted. I simply observed some of these 'manipulations', was a pawn in several of them, and in a couple I was the person being manipulated. Several of these situations even had *layers* of manipulation... one person manipulated another into manipulating others, but then the second person looped back and also manipulated the first person.... (think through that one for a minute)

The question that arises for me out of these experiences is this- is manipulation always bad?

Obviously, when you are the person that has been manipulated- it feels bad (of course only if you realize you've been manipulated... I often watch folks being manipulated that have NO CLUE what is going on...) And I doubt that when most people manipulate others they are doing so in a hurtful or devious way- they just want what they want, and they know that is the way to get it. But, there is a line that some folks seem to cross- a line that pushes it from just getting what they want- to a cold, calculated, over the top power play. Those manipulations are the hardest to watch- and the hardest to be on the receiving end of....

Here's my other interesting observation- all of the manipulators in all of these situations happened to be female. Just coincidence? Trust me, I know that men can be total manipulators- but in the situations that I've seen- those men are usually manipulating others over 'big' things- not the little petty *hit that I observed the women around me twisting and turning to accomplish this week.

I have to admit that some of these manipulations made me mad, some really hurt my feelings, and a couple were so out there they even made me laugh. The sad thing is that in almost all of the situations- if the individuals had just been honest and straight-forward and ASKED for what they wanted- they probably would have gotten it. Sad to think that folks feel like they have to trick others into doing what they want or need- when most of the time people would do it willingly.

I know after this week I'm gonna think twice before I engage in a 'planned' manipulation of others. Next time, I think I'll just ask. Who knows, I might not get it, but at the same time I think I'll like myself a whole lot better in the end.

'Night all...
C

Can Women Have It All?

For those of you who also follow me on Twitter and/ or Facebook, you know that I kept a close eye on my hours at work last week. I ended the week with a grand total of 57 hours worked in 5 days. It was a really rough week for my physically and a very hard week for my family... but in a way it was a great 'work' week. I wrapped up a couple of big projects, presented something I've been working on for quite awhile to the Governing Board, and was audited (successfully) by the ADE. And this got me thinking...

Three years ago I left the principalship over weeks like last week. I found that 50-60 hour weeks were the norm for that job, rather than the exception. And, I have to admit, my work life during that time was very rewarding in a lot of ways. I rode the 'high' when projects got completed, when we had a good outcome for a student, or when an evening event was successful. I rode the high of looking over a completed week and knowing just how much I had accomplished during that time at work. In a way, I think I also rode the high of just having the stamina to complete multiple weeks like that in a row.

On the flip side of that coin however, were a lot of lows. I had the low of really not being with my kids- of not knowing my kids as human beings. I had the low of watching other people (mainly my parents and Joe) take my kids places and do fun things with them because Mommy just wasn't available. I had the low of not talking to my husband about anything real or important for months at a time. I also had the low of never, ever exercising... and eating like complete and total crap (which, by the way, was a habit I returned to quickly during the chaos of last week). And finally, I had the low of just simply becoming a person that I didn't really like very much- a person who was very selfish and self-centered.

Now, I have a job that has very few highs- last week was a big exception on that front. For the most part I sit at a desk and push paper. I spend a lot of time balancing budgets and working with numbers (not a huge interest area for me) and I feel like I have VERY little impact on children or on families (which is why I got in this business in the first place). My current job deals a lot with the 'politics' of education. I guess the best way to say it is that my current job has lots of lows.

But my current life has LOTS of highs. It's a high knowing my kids and being a solid part of their daily routine. It's a high that most nights we eat a home cooked dinner together as a family. It's a high to sit and do homework with Colin and watch him learn to read- bit by bit. Taking Julia to choir and Colin to Karate and being part of their activities is a wonderful high. It's a high that Joe and I manage a date night at least once a month, and that we have time to spend together most nights. One of the best highs is that he's still awake when I get home, even when I have a late night, and I can cuddle up with him and fall asleep in his arms. My new body is a high too- it isn't perfect- but is much better than it used to be.

I know which set of highs I want. And I've made choices that support that set of highs, and clearly show my husband and my children their value in my world. I know that some day Julia and Colin will be grown up and won't need me the way that they do now. I am proud of the choices that I have made in my marriage, in my family, in my career and in my life.

But, now and then, I do miss the work high. Just a little bit... and during weeks like last week I see how quickly and easily I could get drawn back into the fast paced high that work could offer to me. Probably a grass is always greener on the other side type of situation, but...

When our mothers and fathers and society told us (girls) that we could have IT ALL... were they lying to us?

Happy Birthday to You!

This week my niece and nephew will both have birthdays. Asher is turning 6 and Gundry is turning 4. Unbelievable to me that these little people are growing up SO FAST!

At this moment in time, I have only one niece and one nephew. I do hope that that number will increase as time goes on (Joe has a younger brother and sister who may have children someday- I hope they do if they want to and when they are ready) but for now, I have just the two.

But even if there are more nieces and nephews, Asher and G-man are the cousins that my kids are growing up with- the ones that I will know the best and be the closest to- simply because of their ages and the ages of my own children. That makes these two very special to me.


Happy Birthday Asher and Gundry- from your Aunt Carrie who loves you so much that you can never use it all up. Watching you grow up is one of the best parts of my life. Here's wishing that all of your hopes and dreams come true. I love you both.

Father's Day

Had a wonderful weekend... got to celebrate with all of the 'fathers' in our lives.

Spent Friday night at Jason and Paige's house with Randi, Joel and Mason as well as Suze (Joe's aunt), and the guest of honor, Poohbah (Joe's dad). Celebrated Poohbah's birthday as well as Father's Day with Carolina's Mexican food and cherry chip cake (his favorite). Good times were had by all... got a great photo of Poohbah with the grandkids... will post that later. Overall, the evening was pleasant... and it was great to see Asher, Gundry and Paige ONE MORE TIME before they left for the Vineyard. They scooted out on Saturday early morning and have safely arrived to enjoy their 8 weeks away! Also great to see Great Auntie Suze... she definitely is not enough of a presence in our lives nowadays, and we would love to see more of her.

Saturday brought the Woodard side of the family. Mom (Joe's mom), Grandpa Steve (Joe's step-dad), Uncle Mike (Joe's half brother), Aunt Vanessa (Mike's wife), Aunt Bic (Joe's half sister Vicky), Uncle Eric (Bic's significant other), Uncle Jason (odd to have just Uncle Jason) and GG (Joe's grandmother Miriam). Everyone came to our house for burgers and dogs and a little swimming. Colin had a FANTASTIC time playing with Uncle Mike (read roughhousing..) until Uncle Mike's glasses were broken (sorry about that Uncle Mike!). Both kids had great fun in the pool with Uncle Mike and Daddy as well. Wrapped up the evening with a yummy, yummy chocolate cake baked by Aunt Vanessa as well as the chocolate martini ice cream that Paige made for me before she left. It was a chocolate-palooza and I FULLY enjoyed myself. That chocolate martini ice cream is OUT OF THIS WORLD!! Got some nice birthday loot (we celebrated birthdays- Steve, Mom and myself...) - lots of Harlen Coben books as well as some other desired items. Again.. have pic will post later! Everyone stayed until after midnight... just hanging and talking. We went the whole range of topics from parenting to the Grand Canyon hike to politics. Talked with Bic and Eric about engagement.. (think this might be coming really soon!) as well as tattoos (I'm seriously considering one of my own!)

Wrapped up the weekend on Sunday. Kids and I made breakfast in bed for Daddy, then headed over to Nana and Papa's house for a swim and to celebrate Aunt Stacy's birthday. Hanging with Uncle Andrew (my brother) and Aunt Stacy was fun, and kids had a great time in the pool with Papa and Daddy. Again, the topper of the day was dessert... apple and lemon meringue pies created by Nana as well as some homemade ice cream! So good.... (what is it with me and the desserts??) Again, excellent day!

The weekend was truthfully exhausting... but it was so great to connect with all of the families. We are so lucky to have such love surrounding us. Each one of the dads- Poohbah, Grandpa Steve, Papa and Daddy mean something different to us- and we are so blessed to have them all so close. The entire weekend was a good chance for me to back up and reflect on just how lucky I am to have the fathers I have... and how lucky my kids are to be growing up with such strong men surrounding them. Especially Joe- my kids are so lucky to have such an involved, loving, intelligent dad. He is such a part of their lives... of shaping who they are becoming... and for that I am forever grateful. We are so lucky and blessed. I am so lucky and blessed.