Manipulation

Manipulation- exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage.

That seems to be the word- or at least the action for the week.

In the past week I have watched co-workers, parents of other children in the Kyrene school district and *multiple* family members utilize the skill of manipulation to get what they wanted. I simply observed some of these 'manipulations', was a pawn in several of them, and in a couple I was the person being manipulated. Several of these situations even had *layers* of manipulation... one person manipulated another into manipulating others, but then the second person looped back and also manipulated the first person.... (think through that one for a minute)

The question that arises for me out of these experiences is this- is manipulation always bad?

Obviously, when you are the person that has been manipulated- it feels bad (of course only if you realize you've been manipulated... I often watch folks being manipulated that have NO CLUE what is going on...) And I doubt that when most people manipulate others they are doing so in a hurtful or devious way- they just want what they want, and they know that is the way to get it. But, there is a line that some folks seem to cross- a line that pushes it from just getting what they want- to a cold, calculated, over the top power play. Those manipulations are the hardest to watch- and the hardest to be on the receiving end of....

Here's my other interesting observation- all of the manipulators in all of these situations happened to be female. Just coincidence? Trust me, I know that men can be total manipulators- but in the situations that I've seen- those men are usually manipulating others over 'big' things- not the little petty *hit that I observed the women around me twisting and turning to accomplish this week.

I have to admit that some of these manipulations made me mad, some really hurt my feelings, and a couple were so out there they even made me laugh. The sad thing is that in almost all of the situations- if the individuals had just been honest and straight-forward and ASKED for what they wanted- they probably would have gotten it. Sad to think that folks feel like they have to trick others into doing what they want or need- when most of the time people would do it willingly.

I know after this week I'm gonna think twice before I engage in a 'planned' manipulation of others. Next time, I think I'll just ask. Who knows, I might not get it, but at the same time I think I'll like myself a whole lot better in the end.

'Night all...
C